WayPoints

WayPoints – From a Facebook page I “like” – “A waypoint is a reference point in physical space used for purposes of navigation. It marks a significant point on a journey, one where a traveler can stop or change direction when needed or desired.”

This blog is usually devoted to joy and gratitude. After all, my name on everything social media is GratefulKim. Of late however, I haven’t been feeling so grateful.  Instead, I’ve been experiencing deep sadness over a loss and wallowing in my sadness. It wasn’t an actual death, but something similar. Loss of good feelings. Loss of people who surround me with love and acceptance. Loss of…..what was. I’ve been wracking my brain on how to cope with the sudden change. Mostly I’ve spent a lot of time asking, “What did I do wrong?”

Yesterday, I did a meditation. My first meditation in a very long time. I needed 30 minutes to stop thinking about the pain in my heart and the incessant chatter in my head. It helped…the frequency waves allowed my brain to relax, and for a full 30 minutes I was emptied of the need to find answers. Yesterday was the true beginning of me saying that enough is enough and it’s time to move on. Sometimes we just don’t have the answers. Sometimes life just is what it is and people are who they are. Mostly though I want to recover without anger and bitterness for people who gave me no indication things were changing. I believe I’m finally on my way there.

I met a woman this last week who helps people release trapped emotions from their body and heart so they can heal. The moment she started talking I knew I had to meet her and try a session. I am committed to this next step in my healing because my own methods are not working as quickly and effectively as I’d like them to. Next week I’ll take action on making that contact.

This afternoon I was playing around with my Illustrated Discovery Journal and pasted in a few quotes I’ve printed off recently and saved. Below is one of the quotes…and as I pasted it into my journal, I actually began to feel the release of my hurt. To see the error of my ways. And to know, truly know, that everything is going to be okay. Will I be a little more guarded of my heart and soul? Oh…you betcha. But not to the point where the callouses take over the softness. I will still love. I will still trust. I will still embrace people. Perhaps, in time and with practice, I will do it from just a little bit more of a distance so as not to completely give into my emotions. Here is the quote:

“From This Day Forward” by Karen at Waypoints

“I have and hold my own happiness. I will love, honor and cherish it. People, places and things can enhance my inner happiness, but no one, no place or no thing can make me truly happy. I will not place my own happiness on hold, due to another person, place or thing. When I put my own happiness on hold, I lessen my capacity to be happy and I place limitations upon it. Happiness is my chosen partner, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I choose to hold my happiness tightly, and loosen the hold others have on my happiness, which is mine to have and to hold till death do us part. To you, happiness, I make this vow. ”

The quote, combined with the idea of a Waypoint….that reference point where I get to stop and choose a different path…..begins now. My happiness is depending on it.

Kim

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Ok, I’m an emotional mush anyway, but this brings so many feelings. Sadness for the loss; confusion as I, too, don’t understand it at all; peace because like you say, it is what it is; curiosity as I know this is just another step to something great. I think working with the healer will be an incredible experience for you based on all of the testimonials I have heard and just in sitting and chatting with her for long periods of time. She has a gift and I’m so glad that you will be experiencing it. Something came up in my vision board today and I first I didn’t quite understand it, but now I think that this situation might have been where it was coming from. You are a fabulous person, a wonderful friend, and I am grateful to have you in my life.

    Reply

    • Love you Bren. We press through….somehow, someway, we get to the other side and look back to what we had with a smile in our heart. You concentrate on YOU right now and your growing life, inside and out. XOXO

      Reply

  2. Love you & your desire to remain soft!

    Reply

  3. Even GratefulKim, spreader of joY & all things fun, sunny and full of love must give herself permission to feel “not so grateful” when she needs to.

    Thank you for sharing yourself and being so open and honest. My heart goes out to you. xoxo

    Reply

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