You are terrific, no matter what!

I have a strong urge to say something. Thankfully, I have my own blog, which entitles to me to say whatever I want. 🙂

Many families received the ever-important white envelope in the mail yesterday containing the results of their child’s STAR testing from earlier in the year. Based on what I read on many Facebook posts in yesterday’s timeline, there were many children that did fantastic on the test, scoring above and beyond the average….which made for VERY proud parents. That is terrific! My child did well, for the record. Not outstanding, but not below average either. She was labeled as ” top-level proficient” on the scale. Okay. Thank you for letting me know Dear State of California.

I showed her the results, praised her for her score, reviewed the results, and then let it go. However, all the Facebook posts from parents whose children did outstanding just got me to thinking about a few things.

We could write novels (and probably already have) of grown adults who went on to do fabulously in life who failed miserably in school…you know…the ones who couldn’t get a C or above on a test to save their lives. They are not stupid people or lazy people. They may just be individuals who don’t score well on tests or who absolutely despise mathematics. Who knows. And let me clarify something – when I say “went on to do fabulously in life” I strongly support the idea that success is an individual opinion. We can’t all be Donald Trumps, or Kim Kardashians or Oprahs. Should we encourage our children to do their best? Absolutely! And yet, I think we all know children learn differently and are motivated in different ways. Kind of like adults if you ask me. 🙂

I am not here to condemn anyone or tell you how to raise your child. I believe every parent is doing the absolute best they can with the knowledge they have and the situation they are in. But no matter what, you can always encourage your child to gauge their success on how happy they feel. You can have all the degrees mounted on your wall, all the money in the bank you could ever need, and more vacation homes, cars, toys and shoes in the world….but do they bring you joy?

When I had a moment alone with my child at the end of the day, I looked at her and said a few things. Here is how the dialogue went down:

Me: “You know…I am proud of you for scoring well on the STAR test. But even if you’d scored poorly, I would still think you are pretty terrific!”

Her: “Really?”

Me: “Yes absolutely! That test can’t measure your humor, your smile, your love for singing, your kind heart, your willingness to help others or your mad soccer skills”

She lit up like a fireworks show on the 4th of July and followed her smile up with a “Thanks mom.”


I guess what I’m saying is, honor your children for where they are, what they do, and where their skills may lie. Help keep them on track when necessary, encourage them and maybe show a little tough love when they’re slacking off. But always, ALWAYS, let them know they are terrific kids, no matter what. Okay…I’ve said what I wanted to say. You may carry on with your day. Thank you for reading.




One response to this post.

  1. Well said, and so important and true. “You is kind… you is smart… you is important.” We need more happy people in the world and everyone gets that way in different ways. You are on my list of awesome moms I hope to be like. I can only hope that my little girl can grow up to be as fabulous as your girls are. I was listening to AM yesterday (I’m an old lady, what?)… and heard a snipped from the Josephson files about how he told his kids affirmations when they were young and he had a new list for his daughter now that she’s leaving for college. Pretty cool stuff.


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