Just Write!

Someone I follow posted a comment on Twitter today that, for whatever reason, bothered me deeply. I kept re-reading the post, wondering if I was putting too much into it, perhaps taking the comment to a level of judgement that wasn’t entirely true or necessary. In fact as I read it and re-read it, I realized I too was judging. Regardless of the reason, I need to speak up and defend. Don’t ask me why, I just know that the comment touched me enough to get writing about it.

The comment was: “I’m always blown away by how many people blog in run-on sentences with multiple spelling errors, usage problems, etc.”

Writing is such a wonderful gift. I have wanted to write for years. Not a book or a novel, but maybe essays, stories, or most recently, blogs. I have no formal training. I took a few English classes in college, but didn’t pursue it enough to consider myself “good” at writing. I do, however, write from the heart and know many others who do as well. I have read countless blogs and books from people who are able to convey thoughts of love, gratitude, fear, anger, disappointment, hurts, depression, healing and a myriad of other human emotions and experiences. We learn from them. When we know there are others out there who have gone through, or are going through, similar life battles, we gain hope and a sense of community. When I am reading the thoughts and feelings of another struggling person, brave enough to convey and display those thoughts for all to see, I am filled with a sense of awe, encouragement, compassion…and oh yeah..HOPE.

Then of course there are the funny people. The ones whose writing fill us with good old-fashioned belly laughs and feelings of being happy. They can be our saviors when our own lives are not so happy, and help us forget, if only for a moment, whatever plight we are experiencing in the moment. I am grateful for these people for reminding me that things are never so bad that we can’t share a laugh a day.

I’m going to guess that many of the writers I’m referring to are not pro’s. They write when they feel like it and hope it will touch another person. I tend to think if we worried about our spelling and grammar, our run-on sentences (hello!!! I’m super guilty of this!), and our failings in the proper use of the english language, we would never write at all. Isn’t one of our biggest fears in life the fear of judgement and embarrassment? To think that I would miss out on some of the people I’ve met through the power of the written word makes me feel sad, all because they were afraid to begin the process out of fear of looking bad. While it’s easy to pick on someone for misspelling a word, maybe we could look past that and get to the message. Sort of like life really…stop judging the clothes, the job, the hair, the car, the house and look at the person. What does this person have to say? You taking the time to hear could make all the difference in this person’s life.

So…I say JUST WRITE! Get your thoughts out there. Pay no attention to the critics of the world. If you feel like doing a spell check, GREAT! If not, write anyway and get it posted even if it isn’t publishing-ready. If you have something to share, SHARE IT! Because quite frankly, I’ll be one of those people waiting to listen and affirm. Everyone deserves at least that much.

Manifesting Desires by Journaling

Recently I was asked by the wonderful and loving crew over at www.owningpink.com to write something about my journaling practice. I completed my assignment as given, and produced a rather lengthy post. Originally I was just going to give you the link and send you over there to read it (which you still can by going here HERE . But after some thought, I decided I wanted to keep it close in the event the link ever changed. So, without further ado, get yourself something comforting to drink, settle back and enjoy this longer-than-usual blog…… XO Kim

I was introduced to the power of keeping a gratitude journal back in 2003. I am a realtor, and at the time I was involved in real estate coaching, through which I met many inspiring people who were doing more than me in the field of real estate – and just about every other aspect of life as well. I was taught to focus on becoming the “whole” person by setting goals in all areas of my life. As someone who is willing to try things that support my growth as a human being, I decided to give this gratitude journal thing a try.

The Power of Gratitude

Not knowing where to start, I asked a friend of mine who suggested that I simply focus on what went right each day. So each night before bedtime, I would write down as many things I could recall that went right. My first entries looked like this:

•Finally made it to the office by 8:45am
•Worked out 35 minutes
•Had a delicious dinner.
•Relaxed with hubby after work outside by the pool while girls went swimming.
Reflecting back on these entries reminds me of the time in my life when I began doing this exercise. My real estate business was good, listings and sales were coming in from various places, the kids were healthy, we had a roof over our heads…you know, the basics of life were being taken care of. However, my husband had just been in a very bad motorcycle accident a few months before, and after 40 days in the hospital, he was home, in a wheelchair, recovering. I can sit here now and recognize the powerful synchronicity of learning to be grateful amidst less-than-favorable conditions. My gratitude journal reminds me how we were taken care of by so many people while he was unable to work. People held bake sales for us, donations poured in to help with bills, friends and family helped me with the house and kids, and so much more. Despite the horrific accident and the resulting consequences, life didn’t stop. I had two young children to attend to, a household to maintain and a business that required daily attention. Focusing each night on the things that went RIGHT was the beginning of my powerful mindset change. To this day, my optimism and gratitude for life carry me through the darkest days. No matter what I’m feeling, I can ALWAYS find something to be grateful for and immediately begin to shift to better feelings.

The 10/10 Journal

Around 2005, my “What went right today” journal took on a new life. Credit goes to a man named Matthew Ferry, who introduced me to the “10/10” journal. It’s called the 10/10 because your goal should be to write a minimum of 10 things you are grateful for and 10 things you want to draw into your life, or attract. The idea is that by being grateful for what you have, you allow more of what you want to flow to you. You will begin living your life in a state of gratitude and, at the same time, be open to more prosperity. Saying Thank You to God, the Universe, Source, whatever you choose to call the amazing Energy that exists all around us is a powerful way to learn to focus on the good in life. As you physically write down what you are grateful for, over time a powerful shift takes place in your mindset.

The power of our thoughts is severely underrated. Your thoughts can create good as well as bad. Are you always afraid of getting sick? Guess what? Chances are you’re going to get sick. Are you fearful of how you’re going to pay your bills? Yep, your bank account stands a good chance of staying empty. Concerned that your flight will be canceled or your computer will breakdown or your night out with the girls will be postponed due to some unforeseen circumstance? Again, chances are you’re right.

Ten Gratitudes

But what if you began a daily ritual of gratitude? What if you learned to expect things to go your way? You can start small and eventually work your way up the scale of gratitude as you learn to embrace the process. Start with “I’m so happy and grateful that _______ (fill in the blank).” Here are some examples:

•I’m so happy and grateful that I learning to feel grateful.
•I’m so happy and grateful that my hair turned out great today.
•I’m so grateful for the yummy soap I showered with this morning.
•I’m so grateful for my car. It’s not the greatest car, but it gets me to work where I can earn a paycheck to support myself and my family.
•I’m so grateful for all of my 10 fingers that allow me to hold this pen and write this gratitude list.
When I first started doing this, I would be grateful for every little coin I found on the street and in that moment I would say, “I am grateful for these wonderful sign of abundance. I attract money everywhere I go.” You even can play little games with yourself when you find yourself in circumstances of frustration and anger. Sitting in traffic, you can be grateful for the forced time of slowing down and the opportunity to listen to an audio book or motivational CD. Don’t allow the circumstances to affect whether or not you will be happy and joyful. Just choose to be that way by focusing on your gratitude list. You can choose to find the perfection in every situation or you can moan and groan about how things never work out for you. Which thought feels better?

Ten Wishes

The second part of the 10/10 exercise is to write down what you want to attract into your life. Be bold! They may not all come true within the next 30 or 60 days, but the time is going to pass anyway, so keep on writing and dreaming and wishing. Some of my early journals show things I wanted like:

•I want to attract one perfect new customer every week.
•I want to attract a free cup of coffee.
•I want to attract a new desk and computer for my girls.
•I want to attract clarity of what I want.
•I want to attract the perfect healthy weight for me!

Once you write them down, close the book, forget about them and go on with your day. Get out there and meet people, do your job with a smile, take a little extra walk around the corner, do whatever you feel inspired to do.

Delegating the To-Do’s To The Universe

Finally, as you really get into doing the 10/10 ritual, you can begin to “delegate” your To-Do lists to the Universe. There are things we all want to do, be or accomplish, but our minds are full of negative chatter that often keeps us from being all that we are capable of being. If we write down a really large goal, more than likely a little voice comes out of nowhere and tells you, “Hey stupid, there is NO way you’re going to accomplish that!” Instead of listening to that voice, simply say to yourself, “I have no idea how I will accomplish this, but I am delegating the HOWs to the universe, I will remain open to the signs and will take action when the time is right.” Then….let it go. Allow God to take over and mix up a serendipitous concoction of people, events, circumstances and situations that you would never have dreamed possible. Because of your practice of gratitude and attraction, you will then be in a state of allowing, a state of possibilities, and of course, a state of perpetual gratitude for your life.

Will You Try It?

So Pinkies, I encourage you to go out, get yourself a simple little notebook and try this exercise for 90 days. Each day, write down 10 things you are grateful for, 10 things you want to attract and what you need to delegate to the Universe. Trust the process. Don’t keep score. Enjoy the miracles that occur. Then – and this is super important friends, go out and tell someone else about it who needs a shift in their life. Invite them to try it out. Encourage them to try gratitude. We can make our world better one person at a time by helping each other believe in ourselves and in each other.

Living a life of miracles and mojo,
Kim

“Make Good Choices!”

One of my favorite lines from the movie Freaky Friday is when Jamie Lee Curtis yells out to her daughter, “Make good choices!” as she drops her off at school. I adopted that line and have been using it on my own two daughters for as long as I can remember.

This past weekend was an opportunity for my oldest daughter, age 14, to make a choice on whether or not to stay home with the family and celebrate her father’s birthday or attend a high school football game with her friends. Much to my dismay, she chose the football game. That one decision of hers offered up a buffet of emotions, feelings and reactions from everyone in the family. But I am here to only speak of my own experience.

I say “make good choices” to my children because I want them to slow down enough to think about their decisions before making them. I want them to fully understand that life is a series of decisions, from what shirt to wear on a hot day and which foods will best nourish our bodies, to which event to attend when faced with two or more options. And with those choices, come the resulting consequences – good, bad or indifferent.

I was beyond disappointed with the choice my daughter made. And yet, the consequence for being the kind of mom that allows these types of choices to be made is that I am faced with the harsh reality that my children will not always choose what I would choose. While I am in that moment of being angry and disappointed, I too am forced to make a good choice: Will I be angry, resentful and harsh with my words? Or will I take the time to calm down, get rational, forgive….and then speak to my child in a loving way about my disappointment?

I chose the latter. My anger, disappointment and EGO wanted to grab her, shake her and scream at her insensitivity to her father. Instead, for 36 hours, I spoke to my daughter only about that which needed to be addressed. I got her to her soccer game on time and cheered her on, I ensured she was fed, I drove her to her babysitting job and even made a second trip to bring her allergy medicine when I found out the family had cats. The basic needs of my child were met. And yet there was no additional conversation made with her because I was struggling with the grief of her decision and how I was going to handle it. The old cliche came to mind: “When you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

In the end, by taking the time to think, rethink, embrace patience and acceptance, and practice what I was going to say, I was able to have that rational conversation with her that I so desired. I did not hold back my truth or my feelings. I expressed my disappointment and anger, but I did it in a way that didn’t bring more anger and wrath to an already sensitive situation. By coming to the conversation with patience and a true willingness to love her NO MATTER WHAT, I was able to speak to her about love, family and commitment. The conversation was a natural flow into how the effects of our actions and the consequences of our decisions, when made from a purely selfish point of view, can often cause hurt, anger and pain. There were tears, there were hugs, there was sharing and understanding. And if there is ANYTHING I wish for most in raising these two girls, it’s that there will always be open and loving communication and a peaceful understanding of our differing opinions.

Her choice last Friday night was a lesson for both of us in making good choices. For her, it was about learning how her words and actions can hurt and tear people down. It was about taking time to really think a decision through and making a choice to be a little less self-serving at times and a little more generous with your time to others. I can only hope she will make a different choice next time based on our conversation.

But it was also a huge lesson for me in making good choices. I had the choice to rip her head off and make her feel badly, or to come to her in love and communicate in a way that, hopefully, will be a ripple effect in communicating with others. In the end, we both win. While we can never get the time back that was lost that night, we can look deeply at some of our poor decisions and choose, in any given moment, to make better ones in the future. And THAT is what I call “making good choices.”

Chill out baby!

“I don’t have enough time for me to even THINK about being joyful.”

Does this describe your life by any chance?

I personally have much to do on my “to do” list as well. As a working mom, it’s a never-ending cycle of scheduling, driving, planning, accommodating, cooking, cleaning, working, shopping (for food & essentials, not the fun stuff!), maintaining my “girlish figure” and the list goes on. I do try, however slight, to find moments in the day that are just for me – moments to catch my breath, appreciate my surroundings and focus on those few moments of calm. One of my favorite children’s books is about a mommy who just wants Five Minutes’ Peace. Can you relate?

Before taking a shower today, I decided this was one of those mornings for me. Tucked inside my closet is a bag of Bath & Body Works treats…yummy and delicious scents of pure heaven that stimulate my senses and nourish my skin. I don’t use them everyday because then they lose their essence of being special, not to mention their price is a bit of a luxury for me right now. My most recent purchase was the Twilight Woods series that I hold near and dear to my heart (for those of you that are familiar with my Twilight obsession you totally understand). With my candle lit, mesh puff all covered in sudsy goodness, followed by the creamy lotion finish, I was ready to take on the day! Simple pleasures rock my world!

What did you do for yourself today? I’d like to offer up a few ideas that take no time at all: A hot cup of your favorite tea in the prettiest tea cup you can find, a quick walk around the block, sending an email to that person “you’ve been meaning to call”, blast that favorite song on your Itunes list and dance, do a quick Karaoke song before heading out the door and work it like Beyonce baby, add fresh berries to your cereal and say “yummmmmm” everytime you take a bite, read two paragraphs from a book you’ve been wanting to read, add a new flavored cream to your coffee and sip slowly, clean ONE window in your house that overlooks something that delights you, pet your dog and watch how its eyes close…savor that moment. These are just a few quick ideas, and I’d love to hear some of your personal favorites too. Sharing ideas is fun. Leave me a comment on this blog or email me at gratefulkim@att.net

More importly, though, I’d like for you to DO one of them a couple of times each week. You’re worth it, friend.

When God Winks

Nearly five years ago, about the time I began really believing in the power of my thoughts and divine ”coincidences”, I was led to a book called “When God Winks” – How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life. The author writes to the reader, saying “This book will validate your feelings that there’s more to coincidence than meets the eye. It also fosters hope for the dreams of your future by unveiling the wondrous map that has quietly guided you along the paths of your past. God has been winking at you.” –SQuire Rushnell (yes, the Q is supposed to be capitalized). This book was only the beginning of learning to accept the unfolding pages of my life and becoming acutely aware that there are no coincidences.

I am a realtor and have been so for a decade. That’s 10 years of my life people. It is not my dream job….and yet I can tell you with absolute conviction that this is where I am supposed to be for now. The people I have met, ”experts” I have followed (or read their book), the experiences I have had, the tears I have shed, the  difficult choices I’ve had to make, the families I have helped, even the ones who disliked me in the end, have all been part of a journey. Who I am today is barely recognizable to even myself from the person I was 10 years ago. The real issue I have is that I don’t understand my destination. And truly, I’m okay with that most of the time. They says it’s all in the journey anyway.

Yesterday I woke up feeling completely insignificant to humanity. Once again I found myself crying to my husband about life now, and in the future. In these times, my real estate career has suffered a bit and my commitment and enthusiasm have been tested. When I’m not making money, I begin to question my value. I’ve been a working girl since I was 12 years old, and independence may as well be my middle name. And yet, over the last year or so I’ve become somewhat DEpendent and have also began to have an interest in other things – acknowledgement, gratitude, joy, inspiration, hope…love. Expressing it, experiencing it and passing it along to whoever will listen and play along. It’s simply amazing to me how people, women in particular, are hurting, feeling under-valued, questioning their validity and purpose and so much more. Speaking of which – I’d like to interject a little comment about “purpose”. I’m not entirely convinced that we have a single purpose in our life. My experience and attention to life is demonstrating to me that our purpose changes with the seasons of our life. So don’t get too hung up if you haven’t yet found your purpose. Just ask yourself what your purpose is in the moment and act on that. Otherwise I promise you a mental breakdown is forthcoming. Annnnywaaaay…..

Yesterday I sat in our monthly PTA meeting for the high school. We are preparing for Red Ribbon Week – a week-long event which promotes kids staying away from drugs. Many highschoolers are planning a pledge activity to avoid drugs and in return being given a raffle ticket to win a red Ipod, for which the PTA will pay for. I decided to reach out to the world of Facebook and Twitter to see if I could find a donor to pay for the Ipod for the cause. Within an hour of my post, I was asked by a friend of mine where to mail the check. I was astounded and grateful and actually questioned whether or not she was sure about that. Her comment to me was ”You do good work, and anything I can do to support.”  This morning, completely unrelated, a friend of mine called and said she needed a pep talk and told me she knew I was the one who could help. And yet another person wrote to me today thanking me for my positivity and inspiration. And to think yesterday morning I was feeling unnecessary and worthless.

God winked at me in the last 24 hours, letting me know I am on the right path. And this path I’m on includes my desire to serve, inspire, get involved, encourage, cheer from the sidelines, motivate, and love….. and the reason I know this is because it literally lights me up! Which finally brings me to my point. My message to you is not to preach about how great I am. That is never my intention AT ALL. My intention is to serve as an example, and to remind you (and myself) to follow that inner voice, the one that keeps encouraging you to do the things you love, even though you have no idea how it will pay the bills or serve anyone. Sometimes the breakdowns we experience and the resulting questions that arise are the catalyst to where we should be headed. Appreciate your past, embrace the now, and try your best not to worry too much about the future (note to self). Hold on tightly to the belief and knowing that God is winking at us and there are no coincidences. And sometimes, often, the winks come to us not a single minute before they’re supposed to….and those fleeting moments of certainty help keep us going.

*Wink*

Thank you, Annie

Deciding to write this post was a difficult one. I don’t want to walk around in life “tooting my own horn”. Sometimes, though, I have to make an exception. And this time, the exception is for my own personal history as I continue to build this blog. I’d also like to refer back to this during those times we all experience…wondering what in the heck we are here for….as a simple reminder to myself.

A few weeks ago I was given a letter from my 12 year old niece, Annie. She was asked to write a homework assignment on who her role model is. She chose me. Needless to say, I was honored and delighted, but completely blown away when I read her paper. While it may not be entirely accurate (especially the “never does anything bad” part) her words meant so much to me that it made me cry. To think that just being ME made a difference….oh my friends, it just makes it all worthwhile. Everything. And I don’t think I have to go into detail because we all know the things life hands us. How we choose to approach those things and deal with them is the difference between a life lived in joy and a life lived in victim hood.

Recently for a fleeting moment,  life slowed down enough for me to actually hear my own thoughts and my mind literally flashed back to, oh gosh, nearly 21 or 22 years ago when I got my very first “real” corporate job in West Los Angeles. I was so young and naive and had not really been exposed to all the motivational quotes and gurus yet. However, in the copy machine/coffee break/file room there was a bulletin board that contained a collection of office memos, human resources information, etc. etc. And…oddly enough, a quote. I swear to you all this time has passed, and I can still remember standing there, reading that quote over and over again because of how it touched my heart. I haven’t thought about that quote much until now.

I was googling all types of words trying to have my favorite search engine track down that quote for me, to no avail. Then life got in the way–either a home search for a client or a soccer practice I had to drive to…whatever it was….my search ended and was forgotten. Until this morning.

I receive a daily email called Today’s Brilliance which contains motivating and inspiring messages. And at the top of today’s message (ahhhh….how I love synchronicity) was the quote I’d been searching for! I will share it with you and then I humbly ask you to read my beautiful niece’s assignment below.  For me, it was as if 20 something years ago someone was trying to tell me that it’s okay to be the way I was then, and even more important, who I would become over time, despite it not always being the most popular choice or the fastest way to earn a good healthy living.  All I know for sure is…..Thank you, Annie, for letting me know that I do make a difference. 

The Quote:

“Fifty years from now it won’t matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account, or what your clothes looked like, but the world may be a little better because you were important in the life of a child.”  ~Dr. Forest E. Witcraft

The Assignment:

Beach Ball: A reminder for gratitude

I used to walk around with this great attitude of abundance being everywhere in my little world.  I treasured every little penny I found, which often led to finding more sizable coinage. I believed and therefore received that delicious corner parking spot. I even looked forward to those juicy cashable checks that would often appear in my mailbox. I swear to you…these things happened often. Like so many though, I started buying into this “economy”, feeling the squeeze, fearing the future and basically coming from a place of lack. Ugh! What a horrible place to be!

Last week I read something, somewhere (as I often do) and decided that every little penny I found would once again become something of significance in my life. That led to a grander feeling of being back in appreciation for everything that comes my way. I also decided to start playing the “bonus” game again with my kids. The bonus game is simple: you acknowledge a sense of gratitude for what little (or big!) things show up in your life as evidence of abundance….whether it be a penny, a shiny marble, a beautiful fall leaf, or in our case, a beach ball.

This past weekend as my girls and I were driving to the ice cream store, I saw this large colorful beach ball sitting in the gutter. It was fabulous…so puffy and bright! From about 200 yards away I yelled, “Look a beach ball” and both of my girls (ages 10 & 14 mind you) encouraged me to stop and get it. So we did. I slowed down, pulled over, and my oldest hopped out of the car and grabbed the beach ball. When she got back into the car, I said, “That’s our bonus for the day” to which her reply was, “How long has it been since we played THAT game?”  She was so right, and I quickly added how we were starting it back up again. Both of them seemed delighted.

Thank you universe for our happy beach ball that reminds us that life can be fun, bouncy and full of surprises if we keep our hearts and minds in a place of allowing and gratitude. This very morning while sorting through one of my “piles”, I found two old checks totalling $115.00 that I never cashed. I also received an email from a fellow associate with a new homebuyer lead.

Coincidence? I think not.  So…get grateful, get happy and be open to all that is good, delicious and wonderful. You may be surprised at how much more of it shows up in your life.

Please…don’t mess with my piles.

I am a pile person. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of, but not something I beat myself up for either. It is what it is and my piles are merely a by-product of my busy life.  What is a pile person, you ask? Well, in my case, my home and surroundings have many little piles of  “stuff” in designated locations. Piles of paperwork, my kids school pictures (dating back several years and still in their original envelopes), articles I want to keep, fundraising receipts, real estate forms, notes my children have written me, school projects and class syllabus’, and oh so much more! You get the idea. Things I want to keep, don’t know what to do with JUST YET, but will eventually get around to it before I die. And if not, well….my kids can use it as kindling for those chilly nights by the fireplace.

So, this morning I was up at 4:30 a.m. I have a deadline to meet for the school’s newsletter. I have yet another crazy day ahead of me of working with buyers who either A) can’t make a decision, or B) make a decision on the house they want but can’t get it because of the all-cash investors out there scooping up all the homes making it nearly impossible for the average home buyer to secure a home they’ve been waiting for years to buy. But I digress.

I’m up working on the newsletter at 4:30 in the freaking morning because finding time to work on it is slightly challenging in between running kids to and from school, working on my struggling real estate business, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, exercising, driving to and from soccer practices, volunteering, laundry…oh the list goes on! If you’re a working woman with kids, you’re totally feeling me right now, shaking your head vigorously up and down, saying Yes! Yes! I get it!  In other words, there is a lot of work to be done and only so many hours to get it done.

Which brings me back to my piles. I know what is  in my piles. I know which pile I need to address and when. The kids can ask me where their *fill in the blank* is and I can walk directly to the pile that contains it, shuffle through several pages knowing how deep within the piles it is, and voila! Found! 

This morning, while I was working on the newsletter (again I remind you I was up at 4:30 am) my husband decided to screw around with my piles in the kitchen. While I can totally and completely appreciate how lovely my kitchen now looks with available counter space, I’m guessing he completely overlooked that he has just created yet another to-do list for me….and that is to sort through the piles now PILED up on my kitchen table. This is one of the many examples of why wives dream of stabbing their husbands repeatedly why they sleep…or is that just me?

It’s now 7:30 in the morning, I’ve made extreme progress with the newsletter, and I am in need of crawling back into bed for the sleep I didn’t get the chance to complete. I’m feeling pretty certain at this point, however, that I will be unable to fall back to sleep. Because, while I have tackled the newsletter and feel certain I’ll meet my Monday deadline, I now have the new deadline of cleaning the unwelcomed piles on the kitchen table before anyone wants to sit and eat anything.

Is it too early for wine?

Does what I say make a difference?

Life is so funny, isn’t it? The way it messes with our heads. I can go days and weeks feeling as if nothing I’m doing in this life of mine really matters. Oh sure, the kids have clean, folded (sometimes) clothes, there is food on the table, I get them to school and soccer practices on time, the school newsletter was completed and my clients just closed escrow on their house.  But I’ve noticed when no one SAYS anything to me that I feel somewhat of a non-contributing piece of humanity. And that sucks. I have come to really understand that I enjoy making a difference. I bask in the delight of hearing I made someone’s day, or I inspired them to do something. Most recently, one of my friends on Facebook had a friend who read one of my posts and decided she HAD to have me as a friend due to the uplifting posts I make. That was just super cool and filled my bucket enough to keep on keepin’ on. 

I find there is a large need for validation and acknowledgement in our fellow human beings. And I think the reason I recognize this is because of my own need to want acknowledgement as well. Whoa. Feels a little weird to put that out there, but now that I’ve written it, I’m cool with it. My goal, though, would be to get beyond what others say or think, but…..I have to wonder if I’ll ever really get there.  Does anyone ever get past the need or desire for a little praise? It could be a bit of a problem if we’re addicted to it. But I don’t find any fault in the simple pleasure of accepting a compliment or wanting to be acknowledged occasionally. And have you ever noticed how a person literally lights up when you say something nice to them? Hmmmm.

Sometimes kudos back to me will not come often enough, nor from the people closest to me that I’d REALLY like to hear from. And quite frankly it can feel like my efforts of validation to others is all for naught. But then, perhaps in one of my own dark moments of a celebratory pity party in my honor, someone will rise up and acknowledge me about how I made them feel good, valued, and inspired to do something. And THAT my friends, is worth its weight in gold.

So off I go…someone out there is hurting and needs to know they are important and strong enough to give it another day, another try, another chance to smile and feel loved. And perhaps…I’ll start with me.

I encourage you to take 15 minutes out of your day and watch this video. It touched my heart and those are the lovely things I like to pass along. Thank you to fellow blogger Leslee Horner for introducing it to me.

My Komen Walk Experience

I wanted to take a few minutes to write about my experience yesterday so I can remember it. Memory fades faster these days.

I have done this walk in the past along with my office mates to raise funds for breast cancer. Each time I usually walk with someone and chat the whole three miles. This year, not only did I walk with a specific person on my heart (my friend Linda Karst who is happily a survivor!!!) – I walked alone. Not literally, of course, because I was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of people. This event in the Fashion Island area of Newport Beach attracts thousands upon thousands of participants, vendors, volunteers and more. But I walked by myself, meaning I did not walk and chat along the way. Instead, I truly walked “in the moment”.

I often speak of hope, and a lot of times I’m doing it for myself, but have found that my messages inspire others as well. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to me to completely give up hope in any situation. I believe, and have witnessed, have been told of and have experienced, countless times when the solution to whatever plight in life you are experiencing is right around the corner. Sometimes within the same hour, other times a little (or a lot!) longer. BUT, the solution or relief almost always comes in one form of another. So giving up hope should never be an option. Being open to solutions is a far better option.

This walk is entirely one of hope. Hope for a cure. Hope for peace. Hope for health. Hope for others. Hope for yourself. Hope for a reconciliation of the pain that many have suffered. I witnessed the hope people carried with them by their laughter, despite, I reckon, many hours of previous and ongoing suffering and tears. I shared in people’s love and pain, by reading the backs of their shirts, honoring those they loved who lost their lives to cancer. While they walked in front of me, conversing with their friends and family members, I cried for those they lost as I read about them for the first time and studied their smiling photographs. Near the end of the walk, when you are tired and wanting it to be over, the organizers have strategically placed large photographs of people who have died or who have survived. And for the first time ever I really studied each of those photos – read their birth year and death year, looked into their eyes, shared their smiles and mourned those who didn’t make it and the families that miss them terribly. I also celebrated those that are still alive, surviving, thriving and LIVING, I will presume, like they’ve never lived before.

Along the route, I paid full attention to the peppy cheerleaders, the rockin’ bands singing and giving high 5’s to the crowd, the gifted DJs and their appropriately-selected song, and the thirst-quenching volunteers excitedly passing out cups of water to the walkers. I never heard full conversations, but I did eavesdrop on several of them during my time as I weaved in and out of the crowds. That kind of thing always makes for an interesting time.

This year I paid particular attention to so many people: “Teams” wearing identical shirts and socks, women who got creative with their shirts by adding bling and fancy ties and ribbons, babies in strollers – decked out in pink of course, children walking alongside their parents without questioning why, grandmothers in wheelchairs wearing pink everything, including the boa and halo! And even more so, the women who proudly and happily displayed their “I am a survivor” shirt and pink rose while they walked alongside friends and family. It was fabulous! It was touching. It was happy and sad all at the same time.

I also saw some super creative slogans, such as Save the Ta Ta’s, Save the Boobies, Boobs need support too, Feel Your Boobies, etc. But I think the one that made me laugh the most was a shirt with two baseballs imprinted directly over the boobies, with the slogan, “Save 2nd Base.” Loved that!

An event like this is mind-blowing. I can only imagine the time, efforts, money, resources, paperwork, faxes, emails, text messages, red tape, organization and love that goes into coordinating such a large-scale event. And all I had to do was complete an online form, raise a few funds and walk a measly three miles. Doesn’t seem fair, but I know my little part in this whole event makes a difference in some small way. If not just to open my heart & mind a little more.

This event is one of celebration….and hope. It’s also a lesson: May we never, ever allow the light to burn out in our hearts and minds and give up hope. When you need to, lean on your friends, family and strangers to uplift you, remind you of your greatness and the possibilities that are out there. I’ll do my part and keep reminding you if you’ll do the same for me when I need you. Oh who am I kidding..I’ll do it anyway.

<3 Kim
They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world. Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. — Tom Bodett